I’ll give you an example.
My buddy Ryan and I were sitting at the beach here in Florida.
Ryan is a naturally jacked dude. He's got bizarre genetics that make him look like a bodybuilder after doing three pushups. But he's also got super pale skin—burn-in-the-moonlight pale—comparable to an Irish albino.
He slathered on 80-proof sunscreen multiple times throughout the day. He did everything he could to stay protected. At one point, he looked like he'd been dipped in white clay. People couldn’t help but stare.
And despite all this effort, he still ended up completely roasted. He looked down at his scorched skin, then shook his head and said, “Wow. After all that effort, I’m still burned. That’s ironic.”
Ryan is my buddy and I love the guy—but that wasn't ironic. It was unfortunate.
Looking into the problem
There are many repeat offenders on the subject. Everything that happens is ironic. In 2010, Dictionary.com said “irony” was the most misused term in the English language.
I'm not exactly sure why the misuse gets under my skin so much. I suspect being a writer makes me hyper-aware of literary terms and mechanics most people overlook. Over time, you understand why English teachers are so type-A and nitpicky.
Language doesn’t get the same kind of respect that other fields do. Maybe it’s because math feels more grounded—you’ve got real numbers, fixed answers, and less wiggle room.
Conversely, English can be very subjective. There’s style, tone, and creativity. It feels more fluid and personal.
But still—there are rules. And they matter.
People love to fight online about what irony is
Sadly, I’ve been through this rodeo before.
Anytime I write about irony, people twist themselves into knots arguing what irony is and isn't. They latch onto one tiny part of an example I give. Then, they build a reaching contrarian argument about how it was actually ironic.
And, to be clear, there are many types of irony. I’m talking about the most common type we deal with: situational irony. And my lord is it misused. The only word I can think of that’s misused as often as irony is literally.
“I was literally about to go insane at this concert. The people were so obnoxious."
She wasn't "literally" about to go insane. The people were just annoying her.
The easy trick to identify irony
Years ago, a writing mentor taught me to insert the phrase “the very thing” when identifying irony. I’ll give you an example.
If you died of a sunburn after putting on maximum-proof sunscreen, that isn’t ironic. That’s unfortunate.
But—if you were the Egyptian Sun God, Ra, and died of sunburn—that would be ironic. Why? Because “the very thing” he was a deity of, and which he used as an expression of his power, was the very thing that killed him.
We can’t use “the very thing” test on the sunscreen example because sunscreen never guaranteed you couldn’t get sunburned. Also, the example is too straightforward. Situational irony generally needs to have a twist, a surprising element to it that turns people's heads sideways. And we don't just need hypotheticals to show irony.
Historical examples of irony
There’s an anecdotal story about Charlie Chaplin that he once entered a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest and finished in 20th place. Now, true or not, this would be a fantastic example of irony.
Another example (a true one): The inventor of the stop sign, William Phelps Eno, is referred to as the “The Father of Road Safety”. The odd thing? William never drove a car nor learned how to.
However, to his credit, he was still given an honorary driver's license:
Conversely, the pinnacle misuse of irony is Alanis Morissette's song, “Ironic”. Why? Because nothing in the song is actually ironic. Look at these lyrics:
None of those things are ironic. They are just very unfortunate coincidences.
Even the main chorus is just unfortunate, “It’s like rAaAaAiIiiIin on your wedddding day.” (Hear this in the voice of a man who howls like an alley dog.)
I saw one person argue that verse two contained actual irony, where a man who was afraid of flying died on his first flight. What would make that situation more ironic is if his fear of flying itself made him go nuts on the plane and cause the actual crash.
If anything, Morissette's song is actually a form of meta-irony. It is ironic she wrote a song about irony that contained no actual irony. The song did more to illustrate the artist didn’t know what irony was. Or maybe she did? And it was all part of her plan?
And look — I’m not trying to be condescendi ng. I actually love Alanis Morrissette and that album, Jagged Little Pill. I make mistakes all the time with my writing. The very reason I’m writing about irony is because it helps reaffirm my understanding of it too.
Some confusion and resistance stems from people thinking that, because language is fluid and it changes, we are allowed to change the mechanics whenever it’s convenient.
Yes, as a general rule, we can break any writing rules — as long as there is sound reason and deliberacy behind it. Sometimes, a mistake is just a mistake.
A final trick for clarifying situational irony
I suspect it's best we think of irony as existing along a spectrum from 0 to 100. You want the score to be as far to the right as possible (close to 100).
If something is full-blast situational irony, it should be three things at full tilt:
The opposite of what you expect to happen.
It should have a surprising outcome.
It is amusing and makes you smile. It is a funny plot twist, often in a dark or morbid way.
And if that doesn’t work, try “the very thing” test.
Interesting. I never gave it much thought, but now I’ll be looking for examples.
Now I have one more thing to pay attention to. I don't use the word ironic very often but I will have to watch and see if I use it correctly next time. Thanks!